Registered

I just wrote a long, beautiful piece about what motivated me to register for the half marathon. Then, the computer died.

Stupid computer.

Point being, I did it. I registered. I'm running the half (and walking as much as I need to).

I did it. I'm doing it.

Finally!

Hep Hep

Hooray!

I ran for 26 minutes straight today. I didn't stop to walk at all.

Definite victory and I felt AWESOME the whole time.

Easily one of my best runs E-V-E-R. In time, distance, speed, and how I felt.

Absolutely brilliant!!

:)

Better :)

I got up "early" this morning, meaning earlier than usual. After last night's blahs, I decided what I really needed was a run.

I was right.

I went to the gym and ran. In fact, I ran for 22 minutes straight - NON STOP. I do believe that's a record.

Or not.

I don't know. But, I felt like it was a record. So, I'm counting it.

And I want to say, "woot! woot!" without capitalizing them. Which is weird, as an English teacher, but there you go.

And now I feel awesome, like I could do anything.

So, maybe I will. After I eat breakfast, and after I shower.

I love being a runner.

Blah Blah Blah

This last weekend has been a hard one for me. I have really been struggling. In fact, lately I have been struggling in a variety of ways. So, I'm going to complain. Don't read if whining bugs you.

First, I am not well. I am not ill, but I am not well. I have a chronic sore throat after my horrifically long days of teaching. Then, something has bloomed in Fresno and it doesn't agree with me. I have been coughing hard at nights and in the mornings, such that Aaron said I sound like I have asthma (because the cough reminds him of Alex's cough as a kid). I feel tired, and my limbs feel heavy, even though I have been getting plenty of sleep.

Plus, my balance and spatial awareness seems to be off. Today I slammed a door into my toe (which still hurts, by the way, so it was a HARD hit), tripped over three chairs (no little shuffle, either), dropped my stainless steel water bottle (we're talking FLYING drop, water everywhere) on TWO separate occassions, and when I mis-said a word in class, I came out with a "Bloody Hell" of frustration in front of the students. What the...!? I never swear! So, something is just, well off, and I can't figure out what is going on!

Then, work has been particularly taxing. It's not that work has changed, but I am burned out on it and we're only in week 2 of 11 at one school, and week 3 of 8 at another. My schedule is only going to get busier, and all I can think about is how to get away from it. I spend hours during my teaching feeling like I am drudging through it. Perhaps it is the 14-hour days in front of the students, or perhaps it is just general burn out.

My coworkers haven't much helped with my "enjoyment" of work. More this quarter than ever before, they seem clique-ish and exclusive. Here's two special instances to illustrate this point:

1. It was lunch time. We were sitting there, eating our meals. The oldies, but goodies, were at one end, and the two younger ones (myself included) were at the other. After some time, where I was super stressed and involved in thought about how to get my sammy to not fall apart while I wolfed it down, the other girl suddenly said to me, "Oh, great, this is going to be the most boring quarter because all of the interesting people are at the other campus." Great. Nice to know I'm boring.

2. Every one of the female day instructors under the age of 40 had a matching lanyard today, but me. Someone took special time to point this out to me and said, "You should get one. I mean, let's face it...a BYU lanyard just doesn't cut it." Thanks, mean girl. Sorry I'm not a groupie. Kiss my, what?!

Anyhow, today I just punched in my card at work. As Aaron always says, "This, too, shall pass." It's true. With time things will sort themselves out. But, I just keep thinking about the R.S. lesson on Sunday about patience. I remember Sis. Van N. saying, "if patience is a virtue, I am NOT a virtuous woman," and I laugh. I think about the need for patience, and I am praying for it now because it is hard to see hope in the middle of hard things (even when those hard things are little hard things).

It's been a long day. Perhaps I'll go home and go to bed early. Or not. We'll see.

I'm planning a run tomorrow morning. I'll let you know how that goes.

There and Back Again

So...I have been a bit remisce in my writing, but since most of the people who read this blog are family (thanks for indulging me, you guys), and I've been remisce because I've been busy with family stuff, I haven't felt too bad about it.

Plus, I have been running - sort of. I have kept it up only about once a week in the midst of the craziness, but I have been glad to keep it up at least that much.

The first run of the last month, post-sickness, was with Kate. We ran up at Huntington Lake, and I nearly died. I was worried about that run because I had been sick recently and because I knew Kate likes to push her co-runners. It was probably the hardest run I've done, and I felt sick afterwards for a bit until I cooled down. Still, though, it was AWESOME to run in the mountains and I felt AWESOME for doing it afterwards.

Then, before I knew it, it was July 4th. My sister, Yvette, flew out to stay with us. While she was out here, we went to the gym once, ran on the streets once, AND went on a 9 mile hike in Yosemite.

Me, in Yosemite, in the stereotypical Ansel Adams place.

The hike involved a 1 1/2 hour bus trip to the top of Glaciar Point. Then, we hiked downhill for about 3 miles, uphill for about 1 mile, and back downhill the remaining 5 miles, past two waterfalls (because of the rain and increased winter melting, we thought we'd forgo the Mist Trail - too wet). We had quite the adventure on that little hike! On our way up the mountain we spotted a baby fawn frolicking with her Mama. Then, five minutes into the hike, we saw a Mama Bear and her two little cubs (DARLING, but scary). We also saw lizards galore and some pretty yellow and red birds. From the top of the mountain, we saw rain clouds chucking rain on us and heard very close thunder (also nerve racking), and we managed to walk through a lot of mud on the way down as a result. On the drive home, we happened to see two separate, lone coyotes. It was amazing!

By the end of the hike, it was dark and we were exhausted, but happy. It was such a beautiful, perfect day, in spite of the rain and the pain in my knees as a result.

Half Dome, as seen from the top of Glaciar Point - check out that sky!

Breathtaking.

 

The Mama Bear. Also breathtaking, in a different way.

 
Then, we went off to Utah. I didn't take pictures of it, so that's too bad. We drove to Utah, via the Shakespearean Festival, where we got to stop and watch a show with our friend Michael in it. It was good to see him again. After returning to my parents' house, we spent the next week working on school work, job applications, and sorting through a bunch of boxes.
 
I ran only once in Utah, and it was with Aaron. It is one of my BEST memories from the trip, actually, because Aaron ran right alongside me the entire way. I knew it was hard for him to slow himself down for me, but I was really grateful for it. Even though we did very little talking, it was motivating just to have him run beside me. Goodness, I love that man.
 
One week later, we were on the road again coming back to Fresno. This time, we drove straight through and arrived at 3am. Here's the thing about super long drives - I can't do them in a bra. So, at about Baker I became bra-less, figuring it didn't matter since only Aaron was in the car with me. After arriving and unpacking the car in Fresno, we went grocery shopping. The only problem was, in the midst of car unloading, I couldn't find the bra. So, Winco was interesting...3am, bra-less, totally delirious from exhaustion. Good times.
 
Anyhow, last week was a start week at Heald. It nearly killed us, or maybe it was just me. I'm now working 14 hour days, straight, on Mondays and Wednesdays. I lost my voice, and I've had allergies/coughing ever since our return. Welcome to the Central Valley, I guess.
 
Also this week, we had Alan move in with us! Hooray! He's been an absolute delight so far, keeping his space clean and organized, and even helping unload the dishwasher several times before I woke up (as a special surprise, I guess). It's been AWESOME having him here.
 
We've also had Adam and Karen visiting, too. They've been really nice, and it's been great to see them. We've had lunch and dinner with them a couple times, and last night they cooked this amazing, gourmet chinese meal with us. It was PHENOMENAL, and so much fun. We've also been playing a lot of Kubb at the park next door, which seems to have our neighbors confused. But, it's been really fun to spend so much time with family, and I feel very spoiled to be able to see them right now.
 
Now, if only I could get to bed earlier rather than staying up and hanging out (ha ha ha - like I am ever going to get to bed early, even if there wasn't socializing to do).
 
As far as exercise, I've only been running once since we got back, but it felt good. I was surprised at what a change came over me, mood-wise, just by running. Nice. I suppose it just goes to show that it's been a good thing to keep it up, even if I feel very behind where I should be physically. Oh well, at least I've been up to all sorts of other fun, good stuff. Surely, on the day of the half marathon, that's what's really going to count, right?? I hope so.

It Never Rains but it Pours

What a weekend.

We spent Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and most of Sunday morning working on the house. We painted the hall, painted the baseboards in most of the rooms, and painted pretty much every door in the house. We put in the new doorknobs, rearranged all the furniture that we'd had to move away from the walls to paint baseboards (including all our books and bookcases), deep cleaned the bathrooms and kitchen, and then cooked a meal for 15 people. It was exhausting, and wonderful fun!

Then, Saturday afternoon I felt a bit nauseated. I wasn't too alarmed because I was a bit "late," as it were, and I was hopeful it was a sign of pregnancy (we're not trying, but we still wouldn't complain if things worked out). I thought this might be the case especially because the nausea went away when I ate.

On Sunday, I woke up with tummy distress (mild and lower digestive tract), but took Pepto and then felt fine. I put this distress down to the usual culprit: lack of sleep and stress.

Sunday's dinner went off without a hitch, and aside from being exhausted, I felt pretty good.

Late last night we went for a walk around the block because I haven't had a lot of time to exercise and I was eager to move my body. I didn't run because I was too exhausted and it was too late in the day. By the end of the walk, though, I felt properly nauseated. Putting it down to fatigue, again, we went to bed at 10pm (super early for us, especially considering the previous 3 nights we'd gone to bed at 2am - a whole 4 hours later).

At midnight, I woke up and vomited over and over. Then it came out the other end. I threw up four separate times in two hours, and found myself on the toilet another four times. At one point, I actually was thinking that a bullet seemed preferable to the pain. It was THAT BAD (and it was late, so I was feeling a bit dramatic). I was so exhausted, but I couldn't sleep laying down because I felt so sick. But, I was so tired I kept falling asleep sitting up on the toilet. In retrospect this was mildly funny, though at the time I was hardly laughing. In fact, I cried a lot.

I did sleep from 2-4am, but was up again for another 1-1.5 hours, on the toilet as well as dry-heaving/barfing AGAIN. This time, it was all just bile. Nothing else was left in me.

When I woke this morning at 6:45am (after a whopping hour and half of sleep), I felt like a parched fish on dry ground. I can't remember the last time I was so thirsty. Aaron's ice chips were a godsend, as was the Ginger Ale he ran to SaveMart to buy for me before he left for work at 7:30. He's such a lifesaver. I LOVE HIM!

Last night, as I was laying on the bathroom floor somewhere between sleep, illness, and wakefulness, I hoped this WASN'T pregnancy, because I would have seriously been wondering what I had done to myself.

Today, though, I took that thought back. Why? Because, in the middle of the fatigue, sickness, and inability to keep things down, I am having cramps - solid, hard, legitimate, painful cramps. I'm not late anymore. The worst part of it, too, is I can't take any ibuprofen to knock the pain (like I usually do) because I doubt I could keep it down (after all, ibuprofen is hard enough on the tummy on regular days, let alone on a day like today).

I just keep thinking about what Bryony would say in these situations: "Really? Really, Body? You can't be serious. This is NOT okay."

Really, though, and very seriously, Body, this is not funny and NOT fun.

The only good news is that it should all be over before the cabin trip this weekend. Now, I just hope that Aaron doesn't get sick, especially while backpacking in the mountains with his brothers. Keep him in your prayers because that would be sheer misery.

Still, I may take some soda, crackers, and soup up to the cabin, just in case. It always pays to be prepared, after all, because you never know when there will be another downpour.

A Break

So, I've sort of been taking a break from running the last few weeks. Don't get me wrong, I'm still exercising, but not running as much. Here's why:

Two weekends ago my family bought last minute tickets to San Francisco for the weekend. So, we rented a car (for super cheap, actually) and drove up to meet them. While there, we went to Alcatraz, Ghiradelli Square, the Wharf, Lombard Street, and the play Wicked. We also ate some really good Thai food, with Pumpkin Curry (YUM!).

Then, my mom came back to Fresno with us. She spent a week with us, mostly relaxing, reading, and napping while we slaved away at work (tough life for her, eh?) ;).  It wasn't all play, though, we went for a morning exercise walk together several times, and she helped me completely reorganize my kitchen so it is, now, a functional space. It's much more intuitive to use now, and I LOVE IT!

After she left on Saturday, we went to a friend's house for a movie marathon, then came home and quickly cleaned before we babysat some cute kiddos (three of them, ages 5, 2, and .5) from 5-10pm.

Sunday I had a great morning run. It was difficult, though, mostly because it was SO HOT outside. I started running about 8:30, and by then it was already in the 80s. Way too hot to run. That night we did homework, because our ox was in the mire, and then we were back to the grind on Monday.

This week has been busy, too, what with house preparations for the family coming into town this weekend.

But, today I finally went running again: 5 minute walk, 21 minute run, 5 minute walk, and it wasn't even hard. In fact, my knee pain was non-existant. The thing about this, too, is that I was having knee pain last Sunday when I ran outside in the heat. Then, based off a recommendation in Runner's World magazine, I started to lengthen my stride to its fullest. I dug deep, ran fast and hard, and stretched my stride out completely. I was FLYING. And, the best part was that my knee immediately stopped hurting.

So, today I ran faster on the treadmill. I kept the pace for the entirety of the 21 minutes.

WOOHOO!

The best news in all of this is that, despite my busyness, I haven't lost much of my fitness. I've only lost training time - a week and a half of it. But, hey, it was TOTALLY worth it, and I'd do it all again!

Dedication of a Lifetime

What a week of successes! Rather than run you through everything I did this week (which might bore you to tears), I'll just hit the training highlights from the week.

Tuesday
I ran my farthest run yet: 4.17 miles. I walked 5, ran 20, walked 5, ran 15.

Saturday
I ran for the LONGEST time running in a row (without stopping). I walked 5, ran for 30 MINUTES, and then walked 5. I felt Awesome afterwards. It was my best run yet!!

Monday
Today I walked 5, ran 20, walked 5, ran 13 for a distance of 4:11 miles. The run was hard, but I feel glad I got out and did it.

My right knee is beginning to bother me again. I've been wondering whether I should do more cross-training on it - weight lifting, elliptical, etc - to strengthen the muscles around the knee. I probably should, but I'm finding it hard to be motivated.

In fact, I'm generally finding it hard to be motivated to run. I think these are the reasons:

1. Running takes a lot of time. It takes me 30 minutes to get ready, and then I exercise for between 40 and 60 minutes. Then, after exercising, I stretch for another 30 minutes. Plus, it takes me 15 minutes each way to and from the gym. This works out to be about a 2-3 hour activity every day that I do it. That's a lot of time out of the day gone, which limits my ability to do other things. I find this limit frustrating, and often wish there were more time in my day.

2. Running is beginning to feel routine and boring. Admittedly, hitting the treadmill over and over again isn't the most interesting thing in the world. This is especially true when all that's playing on the TV's at the gym is news, SportsCenter, soap operas, and 1980's music videos. PLEASE. I need some new places to run, I think.

3. I feel like I'm not making very fast progress. I feel like I go, and I pound out the time on the treadmill, but I am not progressing. The truth is (and I have to admit this, because I can see it on my Nike+ and in the above stats) I am making progress, but it is slower than I would like. This has always been the case with me. When I was little and learning how to play the piano, I wanted to immediately play like a professional. I find it annoying that all good talents take time to grow. I suppose my greatest tragic flaw would have to be impatience.

I suppose running is teaching me lots of lessons. It's teaching me to prioritize what is and is not important (more so than usual). It is also showing me just how important variety is to my life - too much of the same thing can ruin a great thing. But, perhaps it is showing me most of all the importance of consistency and patience as I progress.  My bishop shared a really great quote the other day. I wanted to share it with you. It really sums up this major lesson that running has been teaching me. It states:

"What we need is not short frenzied outburst of emotion,

but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime."

- Elder Dallin H Oaks, "Dedication of a Lifetime,"

CES Fireside for Young Adults, 1 May 2005.

New Shoes + No Knee Pain = Renewal

It's been one of those weeks. I had a dream earlier this week that I flipped people off, which thing I have never done before in real life. I found it very satisfying. By the end of the week, I was thinking just how satisfying the dream actually was, and how I needed an outlet like it again.

I realized, when I felt this way, that I needed to go running. The last few weeks I haven't been very good about running regularly. I ran a couple times, casually, in Utah before the 5k, but with limited distance or limited running. Then I did a 5k, which went really well. You might have thought this would have motivated me. It didn't.

When I came back from the trip to Utah, I was exhausted and my schoolwork was at a peak. I had, and still have, so much to do that I was feeling discouraged about it all. I determined that I would sacrifice my running to catch up. I did, still, run twice that week back.

Then, this last week, I felt angry. I felt angry at my job, and the world in general, and at the work load that I was still carrying. I felt buried, like I would never catch up. And, I felt martyred because I wasn't even able to go running.

That's it! I thought, I'm going running anyway!

So, on Thursday I did. And, it went okay but it wasn't an amazing workout. Mostly, at the end, I felt frustrated that I wasn't where I was a few weeks ago, and angry that I hadn't been running. I felt discouraged and was beginning to wonder if all of this running wasn't just a waste of time.

What's more, after Thursday's run my right knee was killing me. This was concerning since I had run less than the 5k I'd run in Utah. Had I really lost so much of my training in so short a time??

Friday I went running again. I admit that, going in with the level of discouragement that I felt from the day before, plus the residual knee pain, I had already mentally determined it wouldn't be an amazing run. And, well, it wasn't. I ran/walked 5 minutes on and off for about 25 minutes. Then, I stopped, stretched, and went home.

I felt like I was failing, and sinking.

Friday night was a fantastic date night - farmer's market, amazing dinner at Hunan, and relaxing evening in. I was up late, so I took Saturday off from running. I slept in, I took a nap, I got some papers graded, I had some time with my book club ladies, and I recharged a bit. I only did stuff if, and when, I felt like it. It was lovely, and it changed my attitude.

By Saturday night I was sitting, reading through Runner's World again, and feeling like a proper runner. I began to see myself as successful. I even dreamt last night that I was trying out for the Olympics with a good chance at getting selected (hahaha). But, point is that even my subconscious was onboard again.

This morning, in an effort to defeat the knee pain, I decided it was time to do away with my old shoes and try on the new ones. If I still felt knee pain after today's run, I decided, I would go buy some different shoes and try to cross train more.

So, I strapped my new shoes on (or, at least my new version of the same-old Saucony shoes that I love), and went running. It was a beautiful, cool, breezy day. The streets were mostly empty. The sun was shining and keeping me warm, and I had a great, successful, energizing run. Afterwards, my knee didn't even complain once. It was lovely.

It also made me realize just how important patience and determination really are as I work toward this goal. It is so easy to get discouraged. It is so easy to come up with reasons not to do things. And, it is so easy to let my mind determine the quality of my running - even for the worse. Sometimes I really do have to be patient with my body, and maintain a determination that I will not defeat myself. Ever.

Thoughts on Epitaphs

So, I didn't run today. But, that's okay.

Instead, I worked at Heald. I like working there. It has great students.

While I was working, I came across an article, written in the Spring 2009 Edition of RECAP: California Alliance of Paralegal Associations. In the article, by Melvin E. Irvin, he states the following.

"During the American Revolution, the American Pastor, Dr. Vernon Johnson, said, 'Be ashamed to die until you have done something good for mankind'. When I read those words, I asked myself, what have I done for mankind that is good?

"I have told many close friends that my goal in life is to earn a very simple Epitaph for my tombstone. 'He was a good man'."

I read this, and I thought about what he had said. I thought about all the tombstones I have read at the local cemetary as I exercised there. I thought about the book I just read, called The Graveyard Book (which was pretty good, actually).

Mostly, though, I thought about how it is a noble goal to want to earn an epitaph that states you WERE a good man, but what if humanity worked to earn this epitaph instead:

"He is the best of men."

Not that there's anything wrong with being good, but isn't there always something better we can become? And what's with the "was" on the headstone? It suggests that, after this life, we no longer have to be good.

I don't know about you, but I plan on continuing after this life, and I hope death doesn't cause me to stop being my best, and doing good for others. That would be a shame, indeed.

This said, though, it got me thinking about epitaphs. What is it that I hope my headstone reads at the end of my days?

Honestly, I hope that on my headstone it will say this: "She loved everyone she met, and they knew it."

What the ????

Today's run wasn't much of a run.

I ran on Tuesday for 20 straight minutes, and felt awesome, but today I felt sick.

I felt really, really dizzy, for the second time this week. It's been crazy. Monday I felt so bad I had to sit while I lectured. Then, today I felt so ill that I was having a hard time driving to and from the gym (because everything was spinning). I don't think it was super safe, but I was driving slowly and carefully, and I made it just fine.

I can't figure what the problem is, though. I think it's been brought on by pluggage (sure, it's a word...) in my ears from allergies. I've been really sneezy lately, and keep breaking out in itchy allergic reactions to crap in the air. Definite allergy season.

Anyhow, so today I felt so dizzy that I mostly walked instead of ran. I'd walk 2 minutes, run for 1. I did that for about 20 minutes, and then got off. It was so NOT a workout that I felt like I didn't even need to stretch afterwards. But, at least I got out and did something.

The major highlight of the exercise (not in a good way, either) was the woman who looked absolutely skeletal. I mean, SERIOUSLY skeletal. I saw each individual rib cage bone - by her neckline. Where her breasts should have been, there was nothing - just mosquito bites. Instead of cleavage, peeking out over the top of her exercise shirt were the deep, jagged ruts of ribs. Her body had practically NO fat on it, such that I could see individual muscle groups and tendons in her body, and clearly make out where they linked with her bones. It was truly disgusting.

She, meanwhile, was chatting with another runner and showing off muscle groups. She seemed proud of how she looked, even though she looked ill.

I wondered, as I looked at her, if this is what elite runners looked like in real life. It was anything BUT attractive.

Still, though, it made me remember something very important: I run to gain fitness, not to be thin. Running to be thin can lead a person to be too thin, and that is not what I want.

I want to be fit and flexible. I want to be devastatingly sexy. Is that so wrong?

Saving Ta-Ta's

Today, I ran a 5k race

in 36:25.

That's my fastest time, ever.

Not too shabby, not too shabby at all.

It was a sunny, cool day. I ran with my sister, my brother-in-law, and my two nephews. The atmosphere there was AWESOME. People were all dressed up in crazy fashions, and running/walking in support of someone with breast cancer. There were over 18,000 people there today, running & walking. Many of those were wearing shirts in dedication to people who had been diagnosed with the disease. It was humbling to realize just how prolific breast cancer actually is, and it was inspiring to see so many out there running to honor the memories of those they loved, and to support those now suffering from it.

For me, the run wasn't entirely easy. At one point I was really struggling to run, so I had stopped to walk. I was feeling a bit discouraged because, at that point, my nephews had completely passed me up. Just then, a bald woman started to run past me. She was wearing a pink survivor shirt and bib. I picked it up and started to jog next to her. I asked her if I could run with her for a bit. She said yes. We trotted along for a short distance, and chatted. She said she had been a runner before her diagnosis, and that she had, prior to diagnosis, arranged to run a half marathon next week. She said, "When I was diagnosed, I thought about quitting the half, but then I decided I wasn't going to let cancer stop me from running it."

Her name is Kim, and she was my inspiration today. Particularly because, even with cancer, she completely outran me. When I stopped to walk, she turned and said, as she ran ahead, "I'm going to see how far I can keep going. I want to keep going."

I hope she keeps going, too. I'm praying for you, Kim, wherever you are.

One of my favorite parts of running today was the t-shirts people wore. Here are a few highlights:

"Save Second Base"

"Tammi's Rack Pack"

Shirt worn by two men: "We stare because we care."

Shirt worn by a survivor: "Of course they're fake. The real ones tried to kill me."

Hilarious. I don't think I've ever laughed so much through a race.

I felt awesome; I felt proud of the kids; I felt happy.

I feel happy.

What an honor that my running can help raise money for such a worthy cause.

Running @ Home

I'm still visiting good ol' K-town. The family is all working today, and I didn't make any plans (which is why I'm already behind in my to do list - typical). Still, because I didn't have to be anywhere by a certain time, I had time to run. So, of course, I went down to the local cemetary to do this.

I love the cemetary here in town. A lot of people find it freaky to run around graves and headstones, but I think it is very peaceful. I remember once, as a child, telling my mom that I was afraid of the cemetary (which we always called "the graveyard" in my family - adding to the fear factor, I guess). She looked at me, stunned, and said, "Why? The cemetary is peaceful. It's a place of final rest. It's like being among many sleeping, happy, contented people. I think it's beautiful."

I was never afraid there again.

Today, I kept getting a stitch in my side as I ran. I don't know if it's lack of electrolytes, or lack of oxygen. Whatever the reason, it was LAME. But, it made me slow down and walk more than usual, which allowed me more time to reflect on things (rather than gasp for air in this 4,000 feet above sea level place). I noticed the pretty Rocky Mountains, capped with snow, and blanketed in light fog. It was cold today - 35 degrees Fahrenheit - and you could smell the wood smoke from local chimneys in the air, mingled with the crisp smell of high mountain pine trees.

I felt sad that I wasn't able to run more than I did, but I was happy that I ran/walked 3.14 in 45 minutes, with not too much muscle effort (aside from my lungs, which were struggling). With a little luck, and some blessings, I may very well be on my way to a PR for Saturday's 5k, even in altitude. Miraculous.

All in all, though, it was a beautiful exercise. The whole time ran, I just kept hearing what my sister said after she moved back from California years ago. She said, "You know, I'm just not a California girl. I love the ocean. I love the sun. But, when it comes down to it, I'm just a traditional, Rocky Mountain girl, and proud of it."

And, you know, I couldn't have said it better myself.

This is Why I Run

7. I Wish

I am sitting here, in Utah, in the kitchen of the house where I grew up. The walls are still as pink as they have been since I was twelve. The floor is solid tile only a few years old.

Once again, it is late and I am the only one awake.

I know I should go to bed. In my mind I can hear the voice of my dad saying, "Uh, Diana, don't you think you should be in bed??" Right now, though, he's softly sleeping next to my mom in the other room.

Tonight at dinner we made plans for the week. I want to go fishing with Dad one day. I want to take my mother to lunch another. I want to shop with my sister, Anne, and cuddle her kids. I want to run and stay up late talking with Yvette.

There are so many things I want, but I feel the time slipping away already.

Just one week.

Dad said he wants to go fishing on Friday, during the day. Yvette wants to take Friday off. I can't be in two places at once and I hate having to choose.

I know it's late, and I should go to bed. I'm holding out for Aaron, who will get off work in 10 minutes and whom I can call. The later I stay up talking to him, though, the later I will be awake tomorrow. Plus, the fatigue is making me sentimental and gooey. And, I don't want to be too tired in the morning because I really need a proper run to clear my head.

Tonight I stayed up talking with family about things - life, the universe, everything. We talked about the internal locus of control. The idea that a person perceives that control over their life comes from within - whether that is really the case or not.

I've been thinking a lot about Joseph in Egypt, about how he survived his terrible situations because he had an internal locus of control. No matter what came to him - good or bad - he was able to deal with it because he always saw the power within himself to make positive changes in his life.

Sometimes, when it's late or I am waxing poetic, I think about this. I think about this internal locus of control, and I wish I could give it to people.

I am afraid of many things, but mostly of being alone. Mostly of being left behind. Mostly of the loneliness that comes after all those whom you love have moved on, away, or forward. I am sure that the time will come when I will be the last one left of my family. Born nine years after the youngest sibling, and six years after my husband, I know that I will probably be the last surviving member of my generation, in my family.

Sometimes, I wish this weren't so. I wish, when I think about it, that I could make my family exercise so they could live longer. I wish I could make them happier so they could live longer. I wish that I could give them some of my years, so they could live longer and be there, with me, to the end.

It's a silly thing, but it's a big thing to me. Sometimes, I think this is why I run - in an effort to keep up with their passing years, to reach them, grasp onto them and hold them tightly to me.

Silly, sentimental Diana.

Silly me.

The time will pass quickly by in this visit - it's only a week - and in life: it is, after all, very brief.

Run with the Boys in Altitude

Today I ran with my nephews in Utah. They're age 9 and age 7, and they haven't run very much.

I was running at 4000 feet above sea level (as compared with 400 normally), but the run went great.

Most of all, I was so proud of them both, as they kept right up with me the entire time - both averaging 13'33" miles. FANTASTIC.

I am inspired and amazed by them.

I loved that I was able to run alongside them every step of the way without getting fatigued.

I sure love those kiddos.

Another Step to Success

Today I ran for 20 minutes, straight!!!

It was the first time, EVER, in my life that I have run for so long without having to stop. I felt like singing a little happy song to my msucles, to my lungs, to the gym and the treadmill. I was SO HAPPY. I feel so proud of myself.

This morning I woke up and tried to get excited about running for 20 minutes. Mostly, though, I was afraid. I was afraid of failing, especially after so much success. But, I told myself that if I could run 15, I could surely do 20. I aimed for the 15 mark first, and then just pushed myself saying, "Only 5 more minutes. Only 5 more minutes...only 4 more minutes..." and so on until I got there.

Here's the most amazing part of that, though: I was saying, "Only 5 more minutes." There was a time when I couldn't even fathom being able to run for 5 minutes straight and there I was saying only, like it was a short, easy amount of time.

I've come a long way, people, and it makes me feel so happy to be here.

The Lost Dog

Sunday I ran outside. It was harder than I expected it to be because I hate the route I use, and it was really hot out there. The sun was blaring down, and there was little to no wind. I found myself really struggling in the heat. I suppose it didn't help that I hadn't eaten any breakfast before the run either.

Near the end of the run, Aaron came out to meet me. "Oh, how sweet," I thought, "he saw me close to home and came to find me."

No. That wasn't it.

The dog had managed to escape the yard and had disappeared. Aaron was frantically looking for him and asked if I had seen him. I replied no, and became a more frantic searcher than Aaron. Despite the heat and my fatigue (I was, after all, done with 3.2 miles of simultaneous running & melting) I suddenly burst into a run, shouting at the top of my lungs, "Tobey! Come here, good boy! Come on puppy! Okay! Tobey?!?" I was really beginning to panic because there was no response, and he's usually so responsive to my voice.

We did, finally, find Tobey. He was at the park chasing kids around on their bikes. When I shouted his name and he saw me, he burst into a run straight for me. I felt so relieved, especially since we arrived just as one of the bike kids was shouting, "Hey, Mom! There's a dog following me home!" Thank heavens we made it there before they finished climbing in the car with our little puppy.

Following this particular running experience, I discovered two very important things:
1. If I run outside, I need to run earlier and on a new route.
2. The dog cannot be let into the yard until he's microchipped and we've fixed the fence. No exceptions.

All in all, definitely a learning experience.

Blinking Machines!! >:(

Today's run was hard because my technology kept having issues. Or, rather, I kept having issues with the technology.

I started out just fine. I got on the treadmill, did my warmup walk, and even started to run. The only problem was that after running for only 1 minute, I had to pee. I need to remember to use the bathroom before a run because it complicates things if I have to stop during a run.

I paused the workout, ran to the bathroom, and was back to the treadmill in no time. It took me a few minutes to get my workout to resume, though, because I was trying to be careful to not have the same tech glitch as last time. Once I got the iPod sorted, my treadmill started acting up. I had to pause the workout again, sort out the treadmill, and then start. Just as I got started, my shoelace came untied.

This continued to happen throughout the run, such that I managed to turn my iPod completely OFF, at one point, and the treadmill got turned off TWICE throughout the run. I kept having to pause things and sort out the technology issues. At one point, when the treadmill shut itself off and I was fumbling with my sweaty hands and the buttons, my body rebelled and I ended up in a coughing fit from the sudden shift in oxygen intake.

It was really obnoxious.

REALLY. REALLY. REALLY. OBNOXIOUS.

Despite all of the problems, I still managed to run 3.6 miles today. I ran my fastest mile EVER, and even had Tiger Woods' voice come on my Nike+ to congratulate me (anyone else see the irony in Tiger being the one to congratulate my speed??). I felt stronger and less fatigued than I had on previous runs. Plus, I felt proud of myself for finishing it all.

All in all, it was a pretty good run considering throughout most of it I wanted to throw my treadmill and iPod across the gym.

Take that, stupid machines.



P.S. Just FYI: This is my SECOND attempt at posting for the day. I wrote this post earlier, went to publish it, and it made me sign back in to Blogger. I had completely lost the previous post. Have I mentioned technology doesn't like me today?? Grrr....

Feeling Victorious

Here's today's run:

5 minute warm-up
15 minute run
5 minute walk
15 minute run
5 minute cool down

Total distance: 3.66 miles

Feelings: AWESOME.

This is Why I Run

6. Risk

Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror, and wonder what you're doing? I do. I look at myself in the mirror and I have all sorts of thoughts:

• I can't believe that more than two years have passed since we moved to Fresno, and more than three have since we moved from England.
• Where do I want to be in three months? In six? In a year? In two?
• One thing's for sure, I don't want to be 30 and childless.
• I want to run marathons - not just one, but many.
• I want to write a book that's good enough it doesn't end up on the "has been" shelf of the library.
• I want to laugh more, sleep more, and still work enough that I don't go stir crazy.
• I want to be paid more than I am for what I do.
• I want to have a Ph.D. so I could work in non-private schools doing what I do, which I love.
• I want to have muscles that look like, and work like, Tatyana Pushkareva's - that woman is a machine.
• I want to bake more, and eat healthier.
• I want to love hiking.

Erica Jong said, "If you don’t risk anything, you risk more." Running is a risk for me, and I love it. I want to actively seek, and find, peak experiences in my life: experiences that define who I am, and fill me with satisfaction and joy.

Pouring Success

Today I have never been so grateful for the gym in my whole life because it is absolutely chucking it down with rain. Buckets, and buckets, and buckets of rain. Thankfully, I didn't have to run in it. Instead, I went to the gym, determined to do my "Long Run" today. I had a break from running yesterday, and I will have another break tomorrow, so I figured this was the day to try running longer/farther this week. I was determined to.

And, I did.

In fact, I ran for 15 minutes STRAIGHT with no walking (hooray!).

I have never run so far, nor so long. In fact, when I finished running, the voice of Lance Armstrong (yeah, that famous guy in the photo on the left) came on my Nike+ and congratulated me on my long workout. Thanks, Lance!

I feel very proud of myself, and extremely happy about how the run went. Best of all, my body feels strong and I am not having any pain in my knee even though I ran over 3 miles (longer than a 5k, which has caused me knee pain in the past).

Basically, this has turned in to an all around FANTASTIC day, even if it is pouring rain outside. Thank heavens for the gym!!

Hello, Speedy Hare, I'm a Tortoise

Yesterday - Sunday - was the first time I've run outside in a little over a week (or more). I decided to hit the road again because it was Sunday and I refuse to cause others to work on the Sabbath. So, no gym for me.

It was a pretty day outside, albeit hotter than I normally like when I'm running. I decided to run my regular route backwards (meaning I was running forwards, but I was taking the route the other way around from normal ending point to normal starting point). It went well except for two things:

1. I had to pee. This is not normally a problem, but for some reason I really had to use that bathroom, and I was a quarter through the run. There was NO WAY I was going to make it through the run sans bathroom. So, I had two options:

Option A: I could use the porta potty in a nearby field that had been there for who knows how long, and was last cleaned who knows when.

Option B: I could run back home and use my bathroom.

Obviously, I ran back home. Sorry, folks, porta potties scare me.

2. My Nike+ malfunctioned - AGAIN. Only, this time it was because I had paused it while I ran inside the house so that my potty time wouldn't count against me. Once back outside, I started running again and hit the "Resume" button. It said, "Workout Resuming," and then proceeded to play the requisite episode of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me," from NPR (one of my favorite things to run to, incidentally). The problem was, the time didn't actually resume even though the music did. Instead, it decided to WAIT for several minutes and then play. I lost more than half a mile of my running because I didn't catch the error for that long. This made me REALLY mad because it means my stats on Nike+ are now not acurate, through no fault of my own. Grrr.

The run itself, though, went well. I pushed myself, enjoyed the weather, and felt really good about a Sunday morning run as part of my day of rest. I'm tempted, at least until the weather gets hot, to make this a regular activity. That may only be for a couple of weeks, though.

The only downside to the run was that I realized just how slow I run. It felt like I was running at a snail's pace, even though I knew I wasn't. This was made worse by the man who passed me a the beginning, and then HALFWAY around the loop, and he was WALKING. I've rarely felt so ashamed.

But, I just kept plodding along on the route despite my personal feelings of embarassment, and I kept reminding myself of the tortoise and the hare. Consistency is the key. After all, slow and steady does win the race, even if that means stopping for occassional potty breaks.

Pain: My Badge of Honor

Is it weird that I like feeling a bit sore when I come home from the gym?? It's like a badge of honor: proof that I worked out my muscles and moved my body; proof that everything I am doing is making a difference physically. It feels good to be a bit sore, I think.

Admittedly, I don't like feeling sore for the next 24 hours. So...ibuprofen and ice bath, here I come.

Today was a cross-training day. I started out sore, but loosened up quickly, and then felt really good the rest of the workout. I anticipate tomorrow will feel good, too, because tomorrow is a day off in preparation for my long run on Sunday morning on the outdoor route. I'm excited to see if this week of exercise makes that particular run feel any easier. I keep thinking it won't, and reminding myself to visualize a positive outcome - visualize success.

Sometimes I think I'm crazy doing all this self-talk, and self-motivation. How many sane people actually talk to themselves, eh? I guess that's the point, though. As soon as I decided to be a runner, and to run a marathon, it became possible for me to be officially considered certifiably insane.

I love being that kind of crazy.

Today's Business Meeting = Happier Me

Today's run went fine. I was still sore from yesterday, so I decided to do an easier workout.

Lately I have been battling myself mentally in myriad ways. I don't know why my mind seems so set on negative self-talk, but it has been. So, when I woke up sore from yesterday's cross training, the talk started again. "You don't need to get out there and run today," or, "you're sore, so you won't be able to do a run today anyway. Just don't go today. Wait until you're not sore, and then you can go."

The problem with this kind of thinking is that if I do not go one day, I am worried it will affect my perception of myself further. I will begin to believe that it is better if I don't get out there and run, which I know isn't true. Admittedly, if I schedule a break day (for example, Sunday this week will be a day off), I don't feel bad about it. But, if I choose, last minute, a break because it is easier, then there's a problem.

This morning, though, I was determined to fight off my demon.

It kept telling me that I wouldn't be able to run today. So, I told myself I didn't have to. I had to go to the gym, and I had to walk on the treadmill, but if I didn't feel up to it, I didn't have to run.

Today, Ms. Yellow Shirt was back at the gym (this time in a white shirt). She was running strong below me as I walked on the treadmill. I walked for 10 minutes before my muscles finally felt looser and warmed up. Then, I looked down at her on that treadmill and I thought, "I can do that." So, I did. I kept it lighter today than normal, which is okay. I have to remind myself that it's okay not to work to my maximum output every single day. After all, I don't want to end up injured, and the point is that I DID IT, even when it would have been easier not to.

When I finished, I still felt good, and I felt proud of myself for getting to that gym today in spite of it all.

Later today, though, I had a killer headache. I seem to be getting headaches more frequently lately. I don't know why, but I suspect it is from the compacting of my spine from running. I spent extra time stretching my leg muscles today, but didn't even think about my back. In future I need to spend some time focusing on stretching out my spine so I don't end up injuring it, or suffering from future headaches. I've wondered, though, if the headache might be from working at a computer the rest of the afternoon. Regardless, I believe the solution will be in strengthening my back, and stretching out its muscles.

Today, though, I overcame the headache pain with a nap. I felt 100% better after a little sleep, which just goes to show that, like Ryan Hall suggested, naptime is just as important in training as time running. Perhaps I'll do like he does and start calling it my scheduled afternoon "business meeting."

What a lovely type of business meeting, too: just me, my dreams, and my comfy bed. Sounds like a happy combination. Excuse me while I go check it out right now. After all, I have to get ready for tomorrow's work out.

Cross Training Day

I got out the door just fine today with a FIXED iPod (hooray!), and decided it was time to do something besides running, just to change things up and prevent injury. I used the ellyptical, then walked my cramped muscles out (those machines HURT), and then did some weights work. It felt good to be using my muscles in new ways today.

I didn't really need to bother with any of it, though, because I came home and weeded my front yard, which was almost as much work (or more) as the gym offered me. Here's an example of the type of weeds I was pulling up today:

Now my muscles are SO SORE.

This is where I'll be rockin' the ibuprofen for the next day or so.

Remind me again why I cross train...?
Oh yeah, to prevent this kind of pain in the future.

I must be crazy.

Why I Love Yellow

Today it seemed like the fates were against me.

First off, my iPod didn't work (argh). It actually FROZE. I didn't even know they did that! Thank heavens for Google, which saved the day. I pushed the Menu & Center buttons simultaneously (as per online instructions) and it unfroze. But, then the computer wouldn't recognize it (I eventually had to reset that to - again with a big thank you to Google).

It all made me late for my run - 30 minutes late, to be exact.

This normally isn't a problem, but I was fitting in a run at the beginning of a VERY busy day. I was so tempted to NOT run, but to go back to bed and sleep (I woke up early and still felt tired).

I told myself I was not going to be tempted by this:

The cute cuddle monster.

He was, tricksilly enough, perfectly placed here:

I wanted to join him really badly, but I didn't.

Instead, I strapped on my shoes (which got him off the bed because he thought we might be going for a walk. Sorry, Dog!), grabbed my malfunctioning iPod, and left for the gym.

I had a better workout today than yesterday. I owe much of it to the book I've been reading about running a marathon. It suggested I run a movie of a good runner in my head, and my body would naturally follow. The only problem was that I started the day with almost no positive energy. I had struggled to run yesterday, and I had that image stuck in my head. So, in an effort to conquer my inner critic, I looked today for someone on the lower level who was running. I decided to make them my movie of a good runner.

My complete gratitude goes out to the yellow shirt lady. I don't know who she is, but she had a good pace, a solid run, and she provided the necessary movie for me to visualize what running should look like. My body naturally followed suit, and the whole run was easier because of her. So, wherever you are, Yellow Shirt Lady - THANK YOU!

I still had some discomfort and random muscle cramping (yuck), but I pushed through it with Ms. Yellow's help and shining, motivational example, and I had a very successful run.

Even more miraculously, I made it home from the run in time to shower, get to my work meeting, and then to teaching with one minute to spare before class started. Total. Miracle.

The rest of the day was crazy, as usual, with its ups and downs. But, all day long I looked back to that run as a source of strength. When other stuff came up I kept thinking, "well, at least I ran today," and felt good about it.

This is Why I Run

5. Release

I run to kick this guy to the curb.

When I have a crappy day,

or when I feel angry,

or sad,

or mad,

I run and it all goes away.

It's not that I run away from my problems.

I run so that my problems seem insignificant because

it reminds me who is in charge in my life:

ME.

Not my problems.

Ouch

Today's run was hard. I specifically took the last two days off so that I could push myself, but it didn't work. I woke up feeling tired, and tried to sleep some more. I think I did sleep more. I don't know. When I finally got up, I ate. I think this was my problem because after I ate I felt sick.

I got dressed, dropped off the car (for an A/C fix), took Aaron to work, and went to the gym. By the time I arrived at the gym I felt properly ill. I decided to run anyway because I figured the exercise might help me feel better. And, it did initially.

Then, I felt sick.
The more I ran, the sicker I felt.
I stopped running and walked instead.

Then I felt even sicker.

I walked around, and didn't feel better until I went out and sat in the heat of my car for a moment, then drove home. When I got home I felt 100% better, which I credit to the exercise. Go figure.

Oh well, at least I got in 31 minutes of running today. Not what I wanted, but better than nothing.

This is Why I Run

4. Inspiration

These are two of the people I love most in all the world

(there are others, but these are two of them).

My sister & my husband.

They are my inspiration to do lots of good things:

to be

kind, smart,

patient, loving, 

forgiving,

strong, dedicated,

careful & methodical (and spontaneous sometimes, too),

playful,

and even whimsical.

They inspire me to be healthier

in mind

and body

and soul.

Most of all, they inspire me to be courageous.

I often feel like there's not much I do to inspire them.

Except run.

I run to inspire the people I love to run, too.

Just this last weekend I went to the gym to work out with a personal trainer (it was free).

My husband said to me, "I think I'll get up and go run around the block here while you go there."

And I knew it wasn't because he really wanted to run, but that maybe it was because I was running.

That made me feel really good.

Then, yesterday I got a phone call from my sister.

She said she had just run for the first time in months.

I was so proud of her I could have popped.

I seriously couldn't stop grinning for the rest of the night.

It was great.

So, sometimes when it's hard for me to get out there and stretch my legs I remember

I run for, and because of, inspiration -

in the hopes I can inspire others

who have always been inspirations to me.

I love you guys.

This is Why I Run

3. Joy

I run because

nothing beats the pure joy of running.

Animals love it

Kids love it.

At what point do grown ups learn to hate running?

At what point did I start to hate running?

I don't remember, but I do know that now it brings me joy again.

I run for that joy.

This is Why I Run

2. Strengthening

I run because it reminds me that

I am strong.

This is Why I Run

1. Empowerment

I run because it reminds me that

I am powerful.

Conquering Mountains

First note of the day: I hate stoplights. I know they're there to help SAVE lives, but I hate them.

Today I didn't want to go running. I laid in bed an extra twenty minutes just to psych myself up enough to get up and go exercise. Even then, I dragged myself into the bathroom and thought, "No way am I going to be able to do that." That kind of negative self-talk is seriously dangerous because it quickly becomes true as I begin to believe myself. So, to nip it in the butt, I decided to pick up a book I've been reading called Running with Angels. Besides the usual motivation that book provides me, I found this amazing quote in it:

"It is not the mountains we conquer,

but ourselves."

- Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man to conquer Mt. Everest

Motivated, I got ready and went running.

Right before I ran out the door, I remembered that today I had a new Nike + to add to my iPod. Awesome. So, I did it and I hereby love the Nike+.

 

But, I still hate traffic lights. Just as I would get my breathing right where it should be (and my running was therefore easier and almost calming), I would come up to the only traffic light on my run and have to stop and wait for the little white walking man. This, obviously, killed the breathing thing and I struggled the rest of the run to get it back. Grrrr.

Still, with the help of the Nike+ (have I mentioned how much I love that little machine?? Sorry to sound like an ad), I managed to run 2.59 miles today, for 35:41, with an average speed of 13:45.

Here's the best news of all, though. I've been tracking my exercise online at this great site called Live Strong, which is a site started by Lance Armstrong. It's wonderful. I can track minutes and miles, and report my experiences to a publicly posted running journal. I've found I look forward to coming home with a report each time I workout.  Anyhow, I highly recommend it.

Today, though, marks the last day of the month. I started looking over this last month and realized that I have been exercising regularly since January 10. In that time (21 days), I have exercised 15 days, for 435 minutes of total workout time. That means an average workout is 29 minutes long. This was really exciting to me! I believe I am developing good habits, and I hope to keep them forever. I also am beginning to see the benefits of my workouts in my body, and my spirit. Most of all, I am conquering personal demons, particularly those that say there's, "No way am I going to be able to do that," and, of course, those stupid stoplights.

So, muddle onward, running friends. It can only get better from here!

Running Ouch and a List

Today's run was Couch to 5k, Week 4, Day 3. After doing days 1 and 2 this week, I found that today's run was a difficult one. It was more difficult than I expected because my muscles were rebelling from the running, and my lungs were rebelling from the running, and well, basically the body was in revolution mode and I was not able to stop it. So, instead I kept running. Silly, I know, but I was really proud of myself for doing all of the expectations of the week - against my body's wishes.

While I was running, I kept thinking of all the reasons why I hate running. Then I would tell myself to shut up. Following this, I would think of all the reasons why I was not going to be able to keep running, again followed by a firm, "shut up." This moved into why I was a bad runner, with a final, "Shut up. I'm doing this, which is more than I could have said last month." My inner-critic then promptly shut up, just as my quads began to complain and I would start again at the beginning of it all.

So, to combat this cycle, which occurred throughout the run, I decided to make a list to remind me what my life would be like if I chose to stop running. Here is that list

Reasons why I hate to not run:

1. I get grouchy if I don't exercise. Sad, but true.

2. I get emotional if I don't exercise, meaning that I become unexplicably mood-swingy (this changes when I do run, in case you were wondering).

3. If I do not exercise, it usually means I am spending my time elsewhere - helpful for others, detrimental for me because I need some me-time to do what I want to do, rather than what I have to do. If I do not take time to refill my emotional well, it becomes dry and I have nothing else to give to others (which pretty much explains 1 and 2).

4. Not running makes me feel like a chubby shlub who's squishy and weak.

5. On the days I don't run, I also don't listen to music or talks on tape, which make me unhappy because I like both of those things.

6. Running helps me make Vitamin D because I'm out in the sunshine. When I don't run, I feel deprived of this vitamin, and the sunshine.

7. If I do not run I have less energy through the day, so I get less done.

8. I want to sleep more when I don't exercise. Often, these naps take 1.5 to 2 hours, whereas exercise only takes .5 to 1 hour. So, when I don't run I lose time unnecessarily from my day.

9. When I don't run I start to feel guilty about what I am eating, and I make poorer food choices. Something about exercising helps me appreciate what goes into my body more, so I start putting better fuel in, which helps me to feel better.

10. I get more headaches when I do not run. I am not certain if this is because exercise strengthens muscle groups in my back (thereby preventing headaches), or because running decreases stress levels (thereby preventing headaches). Whatever it is, it's totally true. Before I started exercising regularly, I was getting 2-3 headaches a week, which were painful and often incapacitating to the point I had to just go to bed and pray they were gone in the morning. Since I started exercising a month ago, I have only had 2-3 headaches TOTAL. Pretty good, I think.

One of the things that got me through today's crazy run was the quote, " Impossible is just a stupid word everybody uses because they are afraid to try." This was said by Serge Roetheli (pictured above with his wife on her motorcycle), who literally ran around the world. It took him 5 years to do it, but HE RAN AROUND THE WORLD! Pretty amazing stuff. You can watch a super motivational video of him here: Beyond the Epic Run - Serge Roetheli and Dean Karnazes

Here's to running, my friends, and a happier life!

Mental Preparation

Today I didn't exercise. I worked instead - a grueling 12-hour day of teaching. So, I told myself that I didn't have time to run and I didn't. Plus, yesterday I ran further and harder than I have in months. My body probably needed the break for a day.

But, I thought about exercise and then remembered a dream I once had.

I once dreamt about running. That was it. The whole dream.

The only thing is that at the time I was not a runner. I didn't even want to be a runner. I HATED running. At the time, the closest I got to running was when I was rushing to classes. Nothing could have possessed me to run. Nothing.

In the dream I ran through the familiar streets down by my old junior high school. What stood out most of all, though, was that I kept running and running and running and running and running. In the dream, I didn't stop because I didn't need to stop. My running was second nature, like breathing, and full of joy!

Several times since then I have wondered what that feels like, to run without needing to stop and walk. Running like that, filled with the exhuberance of one's body, always makes me think of animals. They run for the pure joy of it. They run because they love the feel of their bodies moving, and the world rushing past them. They run for fun. When I see them running full out like that, I wonder what that feels like to have the wind rushing through hair and a body moving like the perfectly built machine I know it can be.

It makes me hungry to run when I think about it because now

I AM A RUNNER

and it's a liberating thing to be.

Long Overdue Update

For the last three weeks, I have been exercising regularly. For the first two weeks, I merely got out and walked four times a week. I took the dog, and together we enjoyed 30 minutes around the block, walking 1.5 miles. It was nice.

Then, last week I decided I was ready to up the ante. I took a look at the old Couch to 5k running plan, and decided it was time to dust it off and start on it again. So, I did. I picked a week I thought might be slightly higher than my current level, and did it.

I chose to do Week 3. The exercise for this week looks like this:

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then do two repetitions of the following:

•Jog 200 yards (or 90 seconds)
•Walk 200 yards (or 90 seconds)
•Jog 400 yards (or 3 minutes)
•Walk 400 yards (or three minutes)

It was challenging on the first day, and then more so on the second. By the third day, though, I found it was feeling almost too easy. Granted, I had been cross training in between to keep up my fitness, but it still was nice to see my progress.

So, having done all three days of that week, I decided it was time to move on to the next week. I woke up and decided that, since church didn't start until 1pm, I was going to go for a nice, long run. It was sunny outside, and beautiful (nearly 60 degrees). So, I did the Couch to 5k, Week 4, Day 1 outside. I ran to the temple and back. It nearly killed me, but I did it.

Here's what today's workout looked like:

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

•Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
•Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
•Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
•Walk 1/4 mile (or 2-1/2 minutes)
•Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
•Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
•Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)

I did all that - can you believe it?! I can't! I ran/walked 2 miles in 35 minutes!! More importantly, of that I ran for 5 minutes straight!! It was absolutely amazing, and I feel fantastic now!

I love running - Hooray!!