Another Step to Success

Today I ran for 20 minutes, straight!!!

It was the first time, EVER, in my life that I have run for so long without having to stop. I felt like singing a little happy song to my msucles, to my lungs, to the gym and the treadmill. I was SO HAPPY. I feel so proud of myself.

This morning I woke up and tried to get excited about running for 20 minutes. Mostly, though, I was afraid. I was afraid of failing, especially after so much success. But, I told myself that if I could run 15, I could surely do 20. I aimed for the 15 mark first, and then just pushed myself saying, "Only 5 more minutes. Only 5 more minutes...only 4 more minutes..." and so on until I got there.

Here's the most amazing part of that, though: I was saying, "Only 5 more minutes." There was a time when I couldn't even fathom being able to run for 5 minutes straight and there I was saying only, like it was a short, easy amount of time.

I've come a long way, people, and it makes me feel so happy to be here.

The Lost Dog

Sunday I ran outside. It was harder than I expected it to be because I hate the route I use, and it was really hot out there. The sun was blaring down, and there was little to no wind. I found myself really struggling in the heat. I suppose it didn't help that I hadn't eaten any breakfast before the run either.

Near the end of the run, Aaron came out to meet me. "Oh, how sweet," I thought, "he saw me close to home and came to find me."

No. That wasn't it.

The dog had managed to escape the yard and had disappeared. Aaron was frantically looking for him and asked if I had seen him. I replied no, and became a more frantic searcher than Aaron. Despite the heat and my fatigue (I was, after all, done with 3.2 miles of simultaneous running & melting) I suddenly burst into a run, shouting at the top of my lungs, "Tobey! Come here, good boy! Come on puppy! Okay! Tobey?!?" I was really beginning to panic because there was no response, and he's usually so responsive to my voice.

We did, finally, find Tobey. He was at the park chasing kids around on their bikes. When I shouted his name and he saw me, he burst into a run straight for me. I felt so relieved, especially since we arrived just as one of the bike kids was shouting, "Hey, Mom! There's a dog following me home!" Thank heavens we made it there before they finished climbing in the car with our little puppy.

Following this particular running experience, I discovered two very important things:
1. If I run outside, I need to run earlier and on a new route.
2. The dog cannot be let into the yard until he's microchipped and we've fixed the fence. No exceptions.

All in all, definitely a learning experience.

Blinking Machines!! >:(

Today's run was hard because my technology kept having issues. Or, rather, I kept having issues with the technology.

I started out just fine. I got on the treadmill, did my warmup walk, and even started to run. The only problem was that after running for only 1 minute, I had to pee. I need to remember to use the bathroom before a run because it complicates things if I have to stop during a run.

I paused the workout, ran to the bathroom, and was back to the treadmill in no time. It took me a few minutes to get my workout to resume, though, because I was trying to be careful to not have the same tech glitch as last time. Once I got the iPod sorted, my treadmill started acting up. I had to pause the workout again, sort out the treadmill, and then start. Just as I got started, my shoelace came untied.

This continued to happen throughout the run, such that I managed to turn my iPod completely OFF, at one point, and the treadmill got turned off TWICE throughout the run. I kept having to pause things and sort out the technology issues. At one point, when the treadmill shut itself off and I was fumbling with my sweaty hands and the buttons, my body rebelled and I ended up in a coughing fit from the sudden shift in oxygen intake.

It was really obnoxious.

REALLY. REALLY. REALLY. OBNOXIOUS.

Despite all of the problems, I still managed to run 3.6 miles today. I ran my fastest mile EVER, and even had Tiger Woods' voice come on my Nike+ to congratulate me (anyone else see the irony in Tiger being the one to congratulate my speed??). I felt stronger and less fatigued than I had on previous runs. Plus, I felt proud of myself for finishing it all.

All in all, it was a pretty good run considering throughout most of it I wanted to throw my treadmill and iPod across the gym.

Take that, stupid machines.



P.S. Just FYI: This is my SECOND attempt at posting for the day. I wrote this post earlier, went to publish it, and it made me sign back in to Blogger. I had completely lost the previous post. Have I mentioned technology doesn't like me today?? Grrr....

Feeling Victorious

Here's today's run:

5 minute warm-up
15 minute run
5 minute walk
15 minute run
5 minute cool down

Total distance: 3.66 miles

Feelings: AWESOME.

This is Why I Run

6. Risk

Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror, and wonder what you're doing? I do. I look at myself in the mirror and I have all sorts of thoughts:

• I can't believe that more than two years have passed since we moved to Fresno, and more than three have since we moved from England.
• Where do I want to be in three months? In six? In a year? In two?
• One thing's for sure, I don't want to be 30 and childless.
• I want to run marathons - not just one, but many.
• I want to write a book that's good enough it doesn't end up on the "has been" shelf of the library.
• I want to laugh more, sleep more, and still work enough that I don't go stir crazy.
• I want to be paid more than I am for what I do.
• I want to have a Ph.D. so I could work in non-private schools doing what I do, which I love.
• I want to have muscles that look like, and work like, Tatyana Pushkareva's - that woman is a machine.
• I want to bake more, and eat healthier.
• I want to love hiking.

Erica Jong said, "If you don’t risk anything, you risk more." Running is a risk for me, and I love it. I want to actively seek, and find, peak experiences in my life: experiences that define who I am, and fill me with satisfaction and joy.

Pouring Success

Today I have never been so grateful for the gym in my whole life because it is absolutely chucking it down with rain. Buckets, and buckets, and buckets of rain. Thankfully, I didn't have to run in it. Instead, I went to the gym, determined to do my "Long Run" today. I had a break from running yesterday, and I will have another break tomorrow, so I figured this was the day to try running longer/farther this week. I was determined to.

And, I did.

In fact, I ran for 15 minutes STRAIGHT with no walking (hooray!).

I have never run so far, nor so long. In fact, when I finished running, the voice of Lance Armstrong (yeah, that famous guy in the photo on the left) came on my Nike+ and congratulated me on my long workout. Thanks, Lance!

I feel very proud of myself, and extremely happy about how the run went. Best of all, my body feels strong and I am not having any pain in my knee even though I ran over 3 miles (longer than a 5k, which has caused me knee pain in the past).

Basically, this has turned in to an all around FANTASTIC day, even if it is pouring rain outside. Thank heavens for the gym!!

Hello, Speedy Hare, I'm a Tortoise

Yesterday - Sunday - was the first time I've run outside in a little over a week (or more). I decided to hit the road again because it was Sunday and I refuse to cause others to work on the Sabbath. So, no gym for me.

It was a pretty day outside, albeit hotter than I normally like when I'm running. I decided to run my regular route backwards (meaning I was running forwards, but I was taking the route the other way around from normal ending point to normal starting point). It went well except for two things:

1. I had to pee. This is not normally a problem, but for some reason I really had to use that bathroom, and I was a quarter through the run. There was NO WAY I was going to make it through the run sans bathroom. So, I had two options:

Option A: I could use the porta potty in a nearby field that had been there for who knows how long, and was last cleaned who knows when.

Option B: I could run back home and use my bathroom.

Obviously, I ran back home. Sorry, folks, porta potties scare me.

2. My Nike+ malfunctioned - AGAIN. Only, this time it was because I had paused it while I ran inside the house so that my potty time wouldn't count against me. Once back outside, I started running again and hit the "Resume" button. It said, "Workout Resuming," and then proceeded to play the requisite episode of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me," from NPR (one of my favorite things to run to, incidentally). The problem was, the time didn't actually resume even though the music did. Instead, it decided to WAIT for several minutes and then play. I lost more than half a mile of my running because I didn't catch the error for that long. This made me REALLY mad because it means my stats on Nike+ are now not acurate, through no fault of my own. Grrr.

The run itself, though, went well. I pushed myself, enjoyed the weather, and felt really good about a Sunday morning run as part of my day of rest. I'm tempted, at least until the weather gets hot, to make this a regular activity. That may only be for a couple of weeks, though.

The only downside to the run was that I realized just how slow I run. It felt like I was running at a snail's pace, even though I knew I wasn't. This was made worse by the man who passed me a the beginning, and then HALFWAY around the loop, and he was WALKING. I've rarely felt so ashamed.

But, I just kept plodding along on the route despite my personal feelings of embarassment, and I kept reminding myself of the tortoise and the hare. Consistency is the key. After all, slow and steady does win the race, even if that means stopping for occassional potty breaks.

Pain: My Badge of Honor

Is it weird that I like feeling a bit sore when I come home from the gym?? It's like a badge of honor: proof that I worked out my muscles and moved my body; proof that everything I am doing is making a difference physically. It feels good to be a bit sore, I think.

Admittedly, I don't like feeling sore for the next 24 hours. So...ibuprofen and ice bath, here I come.

Today was a cross-training day. I started out sore, but loosened up quickly, and then felt really good the rest of the workout. I anticipate tomorrow will feel good, too, because tomorrow is a day off in preparation for my long run on Sunday morning on the outdoor route. I'm excited to see if this week of exercise makes that particular run feel any easier. I keep thinking it won't, and reminding myself to visualize a positive outcome - visualize success.

Sometimes I think I'm crazy doing all this self-talk, and self-motivation. How many sane people actually talk to themselves, eh? I guess that's the point, though. As soon as I decided to be a runner, and to run a marathon, it became possible for me to be officially considered certifiably insane.

I love being that kind of crazy.

Today's Business Meeting = Happier Me

Today's run went fine. I was still sore from yesterday, so I decided to do an easier workout.

Lately I have been battling myself mentally in myriad ways. I don't know why my mind seems so set on negative self-talk, but it has been. So, when I woke up sore from yesterday's cross training, the talk started again. "You don't need to get out there and run today," or, "you're sore, so you won't be able to do a run today anyway. Just don't go today. Wait until you're not sore, and then you can go."

The problem with this kind of thinking is that if I do not go one day, I am worried it will affect my perception of myself further. I will begin to believe that it is better if I don't get out there and run, which I know isn't true. Admittedly, if I schedule a break day (for example, Sunday this week will be a day off), I don't feel bad about it. But, if I choose, last minute, a break because it is easier, then there's a problem.

This morning, though, I was determined to fight off my demon.

It kept telling me that I wouldn't be able to run today. So, I told myself I didn't have to. I had to go to the gym, and I had to walk on the treadmill, but if I didn't feel up to it, I didn't have to run.

Today, Ms. Yellow Shirt was back at the gym (this time in a white shirt). She was running strong below me as I walked on the treadmill. I walked for 10 minutes before my muscles finally felt looser and warmed up. Then, I looked down at her on that treadmill and I thought, "I can do that." So, I did. I kept it lighter today than normal, which is okay. I have to remind myself that it's okay not to work to my maximum output every single day. After all, I don't want to end up injured, and the point is that I DID IT, even when it would have been easier not to.

When I finished, I still felt good, and I felt proud of myself for getting to that gym today in spite of it all.

Later today, though, I had a killer headache. I seem to be getting headaches more frequently lately. I don't know why, but I suspect it is from the compacting of my spine from running. I spent extra time stretching my leg muscles today, but didn't even think about my back. In future I need to spend some time focusing on stretching out my spine so I don't end up injuring it, or suffering from future headaches. I've wondered, though, if the headache might be from working at a computer the rest of the afternoon. Regardless, I believe the solution will be in strengthening my back, and stretching out its muscles.

Today, though, I overcame the headache pain with a nap. I felt 100% better after a little sleep, which just goes to show that, like Ryan Hall suggested, naptime is just as important in training as time running. Perhaps I'll do like he does and start calling it my scheduled afternoon "business meeting."

What a lovely type of business meeting, too: just me, my dreams, and my comfy bed. Sounds like a happy combination. Excuse me while I go check it out right now. After all, I have to get ready for tomorrow's work out.

Cross Training Day

I got out the door just fine today with a FIXED iPod (hooray!), and decided it was time to do something besides running, just to change things up and prevent injury. I used the ellyptical, then walked my cramped muscles out (those machines HURT), and then did some weights work. It felt good to be using my muscles in new ways today.

I didn't really need to bother with any of it, though, because I came home and weeded my front yard, which was almost as much work (or more) as the gym offered me. Here's an example of the type of weeds I was pulling up today:

Now my muscles are SO SORE.

This is where I'll be rockin' the ibuprofen for the next day or so.

Remind me again why I cross train...?
Oh yeah, to prevent this kind of pain in the future.

I must be crazy.

Why I Love Yellow

Today it seemed like the fates were against me.

First off, my iPod didn't work (argh). It actually FROZE. I didn't even know they did that! Thank heavens for Google, which saved the day. I pushed the Menu & Center buttons simultaneously (as per online instructions) and it unfroze. But, then the computer wouldn't recognize it (I eventually had to reset that to - again with a big thank you to Google).

It all made me late for my run - 30 minutes late, to be exact.

This normally isn't a problem, but I was fitting in a run at the beginning of a VERY busy day. I was so tempted to NOT run, but to go back to bed and sleep (I woke up early and still felt tired).

I told myself I was not going to be tempted by this:

The cute cuddle monster.

He was, tricksilly enough, perfectly placed here:

I wanted to join him really badly, but I didn't.

Instead, I strapped on my shoes (which got him off the bed because he thought we might be going for a walk. Sorry, Dog!), grabbed my malfunctioning iPod, and left for the gym.

I had a better workout today than yesterday. I owe much of it to the book I've been reading about running a marathon. It suggested I run a movie of a good runner in my head, and my body would naturally follow. The only problem was that I started the day with almost no positive energy. I had struggled to run yesterday, and I had that image stuck in my head. So, in an effort to conquer my inner critic, I looked today for someone on the lower level who was running. I decided to make them my movie of a good runner.

My complete gratitude goes out to the yellow shirt lady. I don't know who she is, but she had a good pace, a solid run, and she provided the necessary movie for me to visualize what running should look like. My body naturally followed suit, and the whole run was easier because of her. So, wherever you are, Yellow Shirt Lady - THANK YOU!

I still had some discomfort and random muscle cramping (yuck), but I pushed through it with Ms. Yellow's help and shining, motivational example, and I had a very successful run.

Even more miraculously, I made it home from the run in time to shower, get to my work meeting, and then to teaching with one minute to spare before class started. Total. Miracle.

The rest of the day was crazy, as usual, with its ups and downs. But, all day long I looked back to that run as a source of strength. When other stuff came up I kept thinking, "well, at least I ran today," and felt good about it.

This is Why I Run

5. Release

I run to kick this guy to the curb.

When I have a crappy day,

or when I feel angry,

or sad,

or mad,

I run and it all goes away.

It's not that I run away from my problems.

I run so that my problems seem insignificant because

it reminds me who is in charge in my life:

ME.

Not my problems.

Ouch

Today's run was hard. I specifically took the last two days off so that I could push myself, but it didn't work. I woke up feeling tired, and tried to sleep some more. I think I did sleep more. I don't know. When I finally got up, I ate. I think this was my problem because after I ate I felt sick.

I got dressed, dropped off the car (for an A/C fix), took Aaron to work, and went to the gym. By the time I arrived at the gym I felt properly ill. I decided to run anyway because I figured the exercise might help me feel better. And, it did initially.

Then, I felt sick.
The more I ran, the sicker I felt.
I stopped running and walked instead.

Then I felt even sicker.

I walked around, and didn't feel better until I went out and sat in the heat of my car for a moment, then drove home. When I got home I felt 100% better, which I credit to the exercise. Go figure.

Oh well, at least I got in 31 minutes of running today. Not what I wanted, but better than nothing.

This is Why I Run

4. Inspiration

These are two of the people I love most in all the world

(there are others, but these are two of them).

My sister & my husband.

They are my inspiration to do lots of good things:

to be

kind, smart,

patient, loving, 

forgiving,

strong, dedicated,

careful & methodical (and spontaneous sometimes, too),

playful,

and even whimsical.

They inspire me to be healthier

in mind

and body

and soul.

Most of all, they inspire me to be courageous.

I often feel like there's not much I do to inspire them.

Except run.

I run to inspire the people I love to run, too.

Just this last weekend I went to the gym to work out with a personal trainer (it was free).

My husband said to me, "I think I'll get up and go run around the block here while you go there."

And I knew it wasn't because he really wanted to run, but that maybe it was because I was running.

That made me feel really good.

Then, yesterday I got a phone call from my sister.

She said she had just run for the first time in months.

I was so proud of her I could have popped.

I seriously couldn't stop grinning for the rest of the night.

It was great.

So, sometimes when it's hard for me to get out there and stretch my legs I remember

I run for, and because of, inspiration -

in the hopes I can inspire others

who have always been inspirations to me.

I love you guys.

This is Why I Run

3. Joy

I run because

nothing beats the pure joy of running.

Animals love it

Kids love it.

At what point do grown ups learn to hate running?

At what point did I start to hate running?

I don't remember, but I do know that now it brings me joy again.

I run for that joy.

This is Why I Run

2. Strengthening

I run because it reminds me that

I am strong.