Day 3: Mediocrity

Today, I am grateful for mediocrity. I am so glad that I can do lots of different things at a mediocre level rather than just one thing at a great level. This is because there are so many different things I enjoy doing, and I cannot imagine being pigeon-holed into one pursuit. I think that would be a very boring life.

So, here are just a few things I enjoy doing at the level of mediocrity:

Running, or more like jogging
Playing the piano
Playing the violin (this is a new one, so it's the very beginning of mediocrity)
Crocheting
Knitting
Quilting
Sewing
Acting
Cooking
Baking (the cheesecake I make is slightly more than mediocre, but otherwise, this fits here too)
Floral Design
Sketching
Using Photoshop
Teaching
Speaking Spanish

There is nothing quite like being mediocre, and I am so grateful today that I can be only mildly proficient in so many varied activities. It definitely makes my life more interesting, that's for sure!

Thankful For

I am going to really focus on what I am grateful for this month. I've done this before, but never online. So, here it goes:

Yesterday's (Day 1):

I am grateful for Alan, Aaron's brother (he's the one on the left in the above picture). I had a dream about him again two nights ago. He was twelve years old, and laughing a lot at a family get together. I thought, "Wow, Alan, that's weird. Why did you decide to be 12 today?" And then I thought about how I knew how he would sound when he was older, and what he would look like. I thought about how I was aware of the man he would become. His little chubby, round cheeks were rosey as he laughed and said, "Hey, Hey...Aaron?! Hey, Aaron!" with excitement, to my husband.

And then I woke up, and realized he was gone.

I felt so sad, but I also felt so grateful. I thought about him the entire day, like when my radio spontaneously turned on, or when a song he loved came on while I was showering. He used to BLAST his music from his iPod when he showered at our house. I thought about him when I watched a sci-fi film, and when I started the dishwasher. I felt happy that he is such a part of my life, even though he is no longer with us.


Today's (Day 2):

I am grateful for the smell of autumn. I opened the door last night to the most beautiful smell of burning fires. That was the smell of the air when we lived in Provo, just as the leaves were turning brown. It is a beautiful smell, and represents the season to me so much more than anything else. I love the air this time of year. It feels crisp, but not cold, and is so refreshing. I love the long walks with the dog, and the beautiful autumn sunsets. Fall is, easily, my favorite season. I am so grateful I live in a place that has seasons. I would miss the change in the weather.

Registered

I just wrote a long, beautiful piece about what motivated me to register for the half marathon. Then, the computer died.

Stupid computer.

Point being, I did it. I registered. I'm running the half (and walking as much as I need to).

I did it. I'm doing it.

Finally!

Hep Hep

Hooray!

I ran for 26 minutes straight today. I didn't stop to walk at all.

Definite victory and I felt AWESOME the whole time.

Easily one of my best runs E-V-E-R. In time, distance, speed, and how I felt.

Absolutely brilliant!!

:)

Better :)

I got up "early" this morning, meaning earlier than usual. After last night's blahs, I decided what I really needed was a run.

I was right.

I went to the gym and ran. In fact, I ran for 22 minutes straight - NON STOP. I do believe that's a record.

Or not.

I don't know. But, I felt like it was a record. So, I'm counting it.

And I want to say, "woot! woot!" without capitalizing them. Which is weird, as an English teacher, but there you go.

And now I feel awesome, like I could do anything.

So, maybe I will. After I eat breakfast, and after I shower.

I love being a runner.

Blah Blah Blah

This last weekend has been a hard one for me. I have really been struggling. In fact, lately I have been struggling in a variety of ways. So, I'm going to complain. Don't read if whining bugs you.

First, I am not well. I am not ill, but I am not well. I have a chronic sore throat after my horrifically long days of teaching. Then, something has bloomed in Fresno and it doesn't agree with me. I have been coughing hard at nights and in the mornings, such that Aaron said I sound like I have asthma (because the cough reminds him of Alex's cough as a kid). I feel tired, and my limbs feel heavy, even though I have been getting plenty of sleep.

Plus, my balance and spatial awareness seems to be off. Today I slammed a door into my toe (which still hurts, by the way, so it was a HARD hit), tripped over three chairs (no little shuffle, either), dropped my stainless steel water bottle (we're talking FLYING drop, water everywhere) on TWO separate occassions, and when I mis-said a word in class, I came out with a "Bloody Hell" of frustration in front of the students. What the...!? I never swear! So, something is just, well off, and I can't figure out what is going on!

Then, work has been particularly taxing. It's not that work has changed, but I am burned out on it and we're only in week 2 of 11 at one school, and week 3 of 8 at another. My schedule is only going to get busier, and all I can think about is how to get away from it. I spend hours during my teaching feeling like I am drudging through it. Perhaps it is the 14-hour days in front of the students, or perhaps it is just general burn out.

My coworkers haven't much helped with my "enjoyment" of work. More this quarter than ever before, they seem clique-ish and exclusive. Here's two special instances to illustrate this point:

1. It was lunch time. We were sitting there, eating our meals. The oldies, but goodies, were at one end, and the two younger ones (myself included) were at the other. After some time, where I was super stressed and involved in thought about how to get my sammy to not fall apart while I wolfed it down, the other girl suddenly said to me, "Oh, great, this is going to be the most boring quarter because all of the interesting people are at the other campus." Great. Nice to know I'm boring.

2. Every one of the female day instructors under the age of 40 had a matching lanyard today, but me. Someone took special time to point this out to me and said, "You should get one. I mean, let's face it...a BYU lanyard just doesn't cut it." Thanks, mean girl. Sorry I'm not a groupie. Kiss my, what?!

Anyhow, today I just punched in my card at work. As Aaron always says, "This, too, shall pass." It's true. With time things will sort themselves out. But, I just keep thinking about the R.S. lesson on Sunday about patience. I remember Sis. Van N. saying, "if patience is a virtue, I am NOT a virtuous woman," and I laugh. I think about the need for patience, and I am praying for it now because it is hard to see hope in the middle of hard things (even when those hard things are little hard things).

It's been a long day. Perhaps I'll go home and go to bed early. Or not. We'll see.

I'm planning a run tomorrow morning. I'll let you know how that goes.

There and Back Again

So...I have been a bit remisce in my writing, but since most of the people who read this blog are family (thanks for indulging me, you guys), and I've been remisce because I've been busy with family stuff, I haven't felt too bad about it.

Plus, I have been running - sort of. I have kept it up only about once a week in the midst of the craziness, but I have been glad to keep it up at least that much.

The first run of the last month, post-sickness, was with Kate. We ran up at Huntington Lake, and I nearly died. I was worried about that run because I had been sick recently and because I knew Kate likes to push her co-runners. It was probably the hardest run I've done, and I felt sick afterwards for a bit until I cooled down. Still, though, it was AWESOME to run in the mountains and I felt AWESOME for doing it afterwards.

Then, before I knew it, it was July 4th. My sister, Yvette, flew out to stay with us. While she was out here, we went to the gym once, ran on the streets once, AND went on a 9 mile hike in Yosemite.

Me, in Yosemite, in the stereotypical Ansel Adams place.

The hike involved a 1 1/2 hour bus trip to the top of Glaciar Point. Then, we hiked downhill for about 3 miles, uphill for about 1 mile, and back downhill the remaining 5 miles, past two waterfalls (because of the rain and increased winter melting, we thought we'd forgo the Mist Trail - too wet). We had quite the adventure on that little hike! On our way up the mountain we spotted a baby fawn frolicking with her Mama. Then, five minutes into the hike, we saw a Mama Bear and her two little cubs (DARLING, but scary). We also saw lizards galore and some pretty yellow and red birds. From the top of the mountain, we saw rain clouds chucking rain on us and heard very close thunder (also nerve racking), and we managed to walk through a lot of mud on the way down as a result. On the drive home, we happened to see two separate, lone coyotes. It was amazing!

By the end of the hike, it was dark and we were exhausted, but happy. It was such a beautiful, perfect day, in spite of the rain and the pain in my knees as a result.

Half Dome, as seen from the top of Glaciar Point - check out that sky!

Breathtaking.

 

The Mama Bear. Also breathtaking, in a different way.

 
Then, we went off to Utah. I didn't take pictures of it, so that's too bad. We drove to Utah, via the Shakespearean Festival, where we got to stop and watch a show with our friend Michael in it. It was good to see him again. After returning to my parents' house, we spent the next week working on school work, job applications, and sorting through a bunch of boxes.
 
I ran only once in Utah, and it was with Aaron. It is one of my BEST memories from the trip, actually, because Aaron ran right alongside me the entire way. I knew it was hard for him to slow himself down for me, but I was really grateful for it. Even though we did very little talking, it was motivating just to have him run beside me. Goodness, I love that man.
 
One week later, we were on the road again coming back to Fresno. This time, we drove straight through and arrived at 3am. Here's the thing about super long drives - I can't do them in a bra. So, at about Baker I became bra-less, figuring it didn't matter since only Aaron was in the car with me. After arriving and unpacking the car in Fresno, we went grocery shopping. The only problem was, in the midst of car unloading, I couldn't find the bra. So, Winco was interesting...3am, bra-less, totally delirious from exhaustion. Good times.
 
Anyhow, last week was a start week at Heald. It nearly killed us, or maybe it was just me. I'm now working 14 hour days, straight, on Mondays and Wednesdays. I lost my voice, and I've had allergies/coughing ever since our return. Welcome to the Central Valley, I guess.
 
Also this week, we had Alan move in with us! Hooray! He's been an absolute delight so far, keeping his space clean and organized, and even helping unload the dishwasher several times before I woke up (as a special surprise, I guess). It's been AWESOME having him here.
 
We've also had Adam and Karen visiting, too. They've been really nice, and it's been great to see them. We've had lunch and dinner with them a couple times, and last night they cooked this amazing, gourmet chinese meal with us. It was PHENOMENAL, and so much fun. We've also been playing a lot of Kubb at the park next door, which seems to have our neighbors confused. But, it's been really fun to spend so much time with family, and I feel very spoiled to be able to see them right now.
 
Now, if only I could get to bed earlier rather than staying up and hanging out (ha ha ha - like I am ever going to get to bed early, even if there wasn't socializing to do).
 
As far as exercise, I've only been running once since we got back, but it felt good. I was surprised at what a change came over me, mood-wise, just by running. Nice. I suppose it just goes to show that it's been a good thing to keep it up, even if I feel very behind where I should be physically. Oh well, at least I've been up to all sorts of other fun, good stuff. Surely, on the day of the half marathon, that's what's really going to count, right?? I hope so.